looking for some help with a letter

[warlockair]

hello,

i am a bit terrible in English and need some help

i need a presentation for school can anyone look at what we have made and give some comments?

Welcome everybody

I want to talk about bullying,
I have notice that there is a lot more bullying at school on this moment,
The children that are bullying are not alone they have a lot of followers that are with them,
I think that all of them have no idea what the impact is on the children that being bullied.
The effects of bullying are that children are feeling unhappy and are afraid to go to school.
What can we do about it?
we could give them a presentation about the effects of bullying we can invite some people that can tell about their experience with bullying. Also we can have a theme weak where the children have to make tasks about the impact of bullying.
I think the rules we have are clear because it is forbidden to bully, the only thing we have to do is keep a better eye on it and force the rules


thnx

[Felkin]

Let me have a crack at it. Of course the real Brits will make some more adjustments ;)
I've made adjustments in red.



Welcome everybody,

I want to talk about bullying.
I have noticed that there is a lot more bullying at school going on at this moment.
The children that are bullying are not alone, they have a lot of followers that are with them.
I think none of them have any idea what the impact is on the children that are being bullied.
The effects of bullying are that children feel unhappy and they are afraid to go to school.
What can we do about it?
We could give them a presentation about the effects of bullying, we can invite some people that can talk about their experience with bullying. Also, we can have a theme week where the children have to do tasks so they become aware of the impact of bullying.
I think the rules we have are clear because it is forbidden to bully, the only thing we have to do is keep a better eye on it and force the rules.

[Ariskovar]

I've been told I don't write like a monkey, so here goes - nothing wrong with Bob's grammar, but I'd do this:

---

Hello everybody,

I want to talk to you all about bullying.

I have noticed that there is a lot more bullying going on at school these days

These bullies are not alone - they tend to be in groups and pick on many children, but I don't think they have any idea what the impact is on the children that are being bullied.

At the very least the children are just unhappy, but sometimes they are even afraid to actually go to school.

What can we do?

We could give all children a presentation about the effects of bulling and invite some people who have experience of such behaviour - be it former victims or even bullies. We could also have a themed week where the children have to do tasks that gives them a better awareness of the impact of bullying.

The school rules are clear of course - bullying is forbidden. I think however that we have to keep a better eye on it, promote awareness of the issues and work on enforcing the rules.

---

Personal statement: For me, like many others, school could be a harsh environment. I was a computing 'whizz' at school (this has slipped somewhat :)), did well in most subjects, yet terrible at sports and, of course, social skills.

There were a few bullies, but they mostly picked on me. I didn't have much to fight back with, so I usually just ended up in tears.

There were even instances where I joked around with kids and got them in tears.

Then you I moved to high school and realised:

The bullies picked on me because they could, and I wasn't the only one
When I became a little stronger, they wouldn't pick on me
You're actually not that bad at some things, and none of it matters

[Leto]

For good englischss you should ofcourse listen to Aris.
But depending on the audience I might give you some help.

[Lobie]

Why you need this letter air?

[warlockair]

Why you need this letter air?

Silvia has exams Saturday

she need to give a presentation in English

its about a presentation she has to give to the parents of the chilren
only first she have to present it to the school board (something like this)

i am terrible in English she is much worse, she failed now 4 times and the only thing
she need is half point more for English

[warlockair]

Thnx Felkin and Aris

i have printed it now she can look at it tonight

[Ariskovar]

My English is good, but not fantastic - still, it might be better going with Bob's - mine's might look too native. I dunno :)

[Onceemperor]

just go to that school and beat the shit out of everybody.

then AND ONLY THEN, you will be the king Bully!

[Lobie]

And how did it go Air with sylvia her letter?